The things that we need, in our day to day life, are known as human needs. Food, water and air are considered as the basic needs. Apart from these, there are many other secondary needs. Out of the many different needs that we come across in our lifetime, mental needs such as love and protection play an important role.
In grade 6 you learned basic needs, other needs and the difference between needs and desires.
"Akka... Is the principal of your school strict?...Akka ...''
"No Malli, the principal is good. The other teachers also love the students... but if you do bad things, they do get angry and will scold" This is a part of a conversation between Chamara just getting ready to
be admitted to school and his sister Sarojini.
Let us read more of their conversation.
Chamara: Won't they allow mother to stay in school ?
Sarojini: No... Malli, mothers and fathers can't stay in school. Father has to go to work, mother has work at home.
Chamara: Now I feel I can't go to school...Akka...I am afraid I will be lonely. I will tell Amma that I don't want to go to school.
Sarojini: You can't say that Malli. We learn a lot of things in school. The other thing is that the teachers in school love the children. They will not leave you alone either. They look into your problems. A few days ago Nimini slipped and fell. Our teacher carried her and ran to the sick room. It reminded me of the care of our mother. Tears came to my eyes. In the first few days I too felt that I didn't want to go to school. But now I feel that the school is just like home.
Amma: Ah!... I was looking for both of you. What is Chamara saying?
Chamara: No mother....I feel I can't go to school. I'm scared. There won't be anybody for me. I am wondering whether the people in school will love me like my mother.
Amma: Son, why do you say that? Aunt Nandani's son is in the same class as you. Not only that your sister is also in the same school. I too will take you to school and come to bring you back.
Chamara: Amma...Then you must come early and stay near the gate. Ah!... Amma shall we go to Isuru's house today?
Sarojini: Ha... Ha... That's good. I will come too...I will come too. Then I can play with Nimali. I can get that book of pictures too.
Amma : That's good... When father comes we will all go to Isuru's house. Let's take the guavas we plucked yesterday and some rambutan. We can go to the temple on our way back and stay for the "Bodi Poojawa". In the conversation between Chamara, Sarojini and their mother we can see two reasons why Chamara did not like to go to school. " I will be lonely, I will not get the love". These are the ideas that Chamara expressed.
• Fear that Chamara will not get love
• Fear that he will lose protection
Do you remember that in the first lesson we learned that love, protection and relaxation are required to have a healthy mental environment?
There we discussed about the love arising out of the strong bonds among the family members. There are times when we don't realise the value of the love that we get from our parents, brothers and sisters.
Do you remember the first day you went to school? Your mother, father or guardian may have taken you to school. When you were handed over to the class teacher, how much did you cry?
Yet, while you were crying, they left you in the class and went out, didn't they? In spite of your dislike to stay, your parents left you so that you may learn well and become a good child.
You may now realise that they did that for your own good. There are certain things that our parents do, that we see differently. We must try to understand what they do and why.
Do you remember an instance when you or your sister or brother fell ill? At such a time your parents or even your guardians would have been near you and looked after you both day and night even without sleeping. They may have sacrificed their time and energy without eating and spent sleepless nights.
The bond, affection and the closeness that exist among each other is known as love. You may have realised by now that when you were a small child, or now during your adolescence or when you are growing older and reaching adulthood, the parents' love, affection and bond won't change.
Such mental bonds are required in our life. So, love can be considered as a mental requirement. Love is a mental requirement that is essential not only during childhood but also in all ages.
From your childhood you require not only love and affection of your parents, brothers and sisters but you also need the love of friends, teachers and neighbours.
Think about the strong bond, love and affection between your parents which is so important not only for them but also for you. Your grand parents will be very happy if you return the love in the same way that they love and care for you.
Not only humans, but even animals make big sacrifices to protect their offspring.
In our daily life it is difficult for us to do all our work by ourselves. In the same way there are instances when we can't take decisions on our own. Other than that, problems and obstacles crop up when we least expect. At a time like that we need the help and assistance of others. If there is no one to help you out at those moments, you feel lonely and sad, won't you?
Think about how we get the protection of our parents at home. When children have fights with their brothers and sisters, they usually run and hide behind their parents. They do that because they feel that they have protection there. When someone in school scolds you or shouts at you, you run to your class teacher - don't you? That is because they provide you with the necessary protection.
We feel secure when we know that there are others to help and protect us. This is an important mental requirement. It is your responsibility to be honest to your parents and teachers as they provide the necessary protection to you.
You may have seen your parents protecting you saying "My child doesn't do anything wrong." By safeguarding that trust you can maintain the respect of those who provide you protection.
By now you would have identified two important mental requirements. They are love and protection. You may have understood that both these requirements are provided to you by your parents. Other than our parents let us see who are the others who could provide us these requirements.
The people who give us love and protection can be classified into two main groups.
1. Family members
2. External persons
Family members
The family consists of parents and their children living together as a unit. In ancient times the villagers mainly lived with their extended family, but today we find more of the nuclear family environment. The members of the family give us love and protection.
Earlier in this lesson we learned about love and protection given by family members such as parents. By now you may have understood the members in a family, other than mother and father.
Love, affection, care and protection given to you by your sisters and brothers should be given back to them in the same way.
Sometimes you may be going to school with your elder brother or sister. Or else your younger brother or sister may be going to school with you. Think of the advice given by your mother to your elder brother or sister every morning.
" Look after your younger brother/sister well, all right?"
The same way when your parents go out shopping or elsewhere when you are at home, they may advise you to look after your younger sister as follows
" We will come soon... till then look after your younger sister ..."
You may often hear your parents saying things such as " serve some rice for your younger brother". This kind of love, affection, protection and understanding should prevail within the family, among each other.
Apart from this, in an extended family you may have your grand father, grand mother and your uncles and aunts living together with you in the same house. You receive much love and affection from your grand parents. They give you protection as well. Most parents in our society go for work and return late in the evening. Some parents have gone abroad for employment. In such situations the children very often live under the protection of their grand mother, grand father, an uncle or an aunt.
We must look into the requirements of the other members of the family who live with us. Each individual differs from another and their thoughts and feelings too are different. Think of an instance when you watched television in your house. When your parents want to watch the news telecast you may have the desire to watch a teledrama on a different channel. If your grandparents are there, they may want to listen to a religious sermon. Above all of them, your younger brother may be wanting to watch a cartoon series on yet another channel. When complicated issues like this arise, you will have to understand the situation when living together under one roof. You will have to understand the wants and desires of everyone in such situations. There can be differences like this, when it comes to preparing food at home. There can be differences with regard to the type of food each one likes and how it should be prepared. If you learn to appreciate such differences from your young age, the bonds and the love towards each other will become very strong. Therefore each member of the family has to make some sacrifice for the sake of the others.
External persons
Those who do not live in our home, but have some connection with the daily affairs of the family are known as external persons.
Compare the list made by you with the following list.
Neighbours
Apart from family members we have to associate with our neighbours frequently. In rural environments most of the people are related with each other. Even if they are not related, they happen to be people closely united and known well by each other.
The situation in urban environments is somewhat different. Sometimes they don't even know who their neighbours are. Even though they may associate with each other, such associations may not be strong.
Whatever it may be, you may have realised that maintaining good relationships with your neighbours is essential for the fulfilment of your psychological needs of love and protection. Therefore, it is important that we help and fulfil our duties towards the elders and others who live around us and treat them with respect.
Peer groups
Peer groups are girls and boys of the same age who associate with us both at school and elsewhere. They are our friends. Those who studied with us at pre-school may still be studying with us in the same or a parallel class. In addition, those who are studying in a grade immediately above or below of yours and children from other schools whom you may have met at Sunday school or any other class or at a place of worship are also regarded as members of a peer group.
Members of a peer group talk freely with each other. We tend to talk with them about our difficulties, problems and things we don't understand. The reason for this is the belief that we find love and protection among the children of the same age group. However it is possible that the advice you receive from members of the peer group may not be correct due to their lack of experience and immaturity.
Therefore it is best that you turn to your parents or an adult in the family or to one of your teachers for advice with regard to any problem.
You may find among your peers that some have wrong views, bad conduct and some are engaged in wrong deeds for various reasons. You have to be intelligent enough to select friends who are sincerely concerned about you. If possible, you should try to get your misguided peers back on the right path with the assistance of your elders, parents and teachers whenever it is necessary.
Teachers and the non academic staff
Other than your home, the main institution that provides you love and protection is your school. You meet many people at school. Those in higher grades and lower grades than you, are like your elder/younger brothers and sisters. Without our knowledge we get protection while in school as there is always some one around. Have you realised that you receive love and protection from such children and that you give it back to them in turn?
Teachers
Our teachers love us at school as much as our parents love us at home. The class teacher treats you like his/her own child.
" I will be very proud if my children grow up to be good citizens." You may have heard such statements by your teachers many times. The other teachers of the school and the principal always think about a bright future for you and you always have their love and protection. Therefore you can win their hearts by behaving well without hurting them. Sometimes you may have faced minor punishments at school. You should know that all is for your own benefit.
There are also other people you meet at school. They are the clerks, office employees, janitors and minor employees. They are all part of the school. They also contribute to our education and protection indirectly.
Various other people
We come across many other institutions and people in the society apart from those in the family and school. For example at places of religious worship we meet priests and other clergymen/women who treat us with a lot of love and affection. Do you remember the love and affection shown by them at the Sunday school? They provide you with love and protection while teaching you how to be a good citizen.
There are many institutions that fulfil our daily requirements. Hospital, police station, post office and other government and private institutions and individuals working in those institutes provide a great service to you. They are bound to serve you. You will learn more about these in the upper grades.
Up to now we discussed about the love and protection we get from others. When we do not get love and protection we expect from them, we feel sad and disappointed. The same way if we fail in our duty or commitment by another, they too feel sad and disappointed.
As members of the society there are many obligations and duties that we have to perform for the benefit of others. When we discharge such duties and responsibilities without failing, we will also get love, affection and protection we require.
Following is a list of such duties and responsibilities of yours;
• Being obedient to parents and elders
• Respecting elders and parents
• Being obedient to teachers, the principal and the rest of the staff at school
• Observing rules and regulations relating to discipline at school
• Treating peers and students in upper and lower grades with respect
• Helping others
• Respecting the views and ideas of others
• Listening to others' view points patiently
• Being sensitive to problems of others
• Being happy at and appreciating the victory of others
• Fulfilling the requirements of other members of the family
• Working in harmony with the neighbours
• Giving love, affection and protection to others
• Protecting public property
Deprivation of a person of the human need of love and protection can give rise to many harmful consequences both at personal and social levels
Some of those are as follows¦
• Unhappiness and disunity in the family
• Weakening of relationship between parents and children
• Conflicts among brothers and sisters
• Living at home becoming unpleasant
• Dislike of school
• Disruption of education
• Becoming unpopular among others
• Becoming offenders/convicts
• Losing good qualities
• Deterioration of discipline in the country
• Living in doubt and fear
• Economic losses
• Getting addicted to bad habits
• Frustration
Food, water and air are considered as basic human needs. Other than that out of various other needs, love and protection are two important psychological needs.
Those who are concerned with love and protection can be divided into two groups as family members and external persons.
As much as love and protection given to you, you in turn must give to others.
There are many duties on your part to maintain love and protection in the society.
